Oklahoma aka the 7th circle of hell - Part 1

Well we made it back in one piece, just barely. Oh, what a trip. It begins with a 14 hour car ride with 6 of us in the Explorer, amazingly enough there was not a single, she's touching me, or stop looking at me to be heard, there was a small debate over our direction of travel but all in all things started off fairly well. We arrive at the Tera Miranda Resort and Marina, sounds nice right? wrong! it was beyond description but I will try my best. First thing you see when you walk in is a double bed on the screened in porch and you think they expect somebody to sleep in here? you get to the main door and go to use the key they give you when you checked in only there is no need as the lock does not work anyway, apparantly the keys are just for show. So you get inside and the walls are army green and judging by the smell it is not paint but rather a thick layer of mildew, you look to the right and wonder if you haven't stepped into an antique mall as the kitchen appliances and cabinets date back to the late 50's or early 60's, the same impulse that makes you stare at a gruesome car wreck forces you to continue the tour where you find rusted out sinks in the bathroom, leaky air conditioners, a bath tub with a shower built for pygmys while the other shower promises the need for a tetanus shot. After the grand tour you lay down to get some sleep thinking maybe things will look better in the morning, only as you turn off the light and close your eyes you feel something on your face you swipe it off thinking it could be a hair but then it happens again and again and you notice your husband swiping at his face too so your turn the light on to find some species of bug crawling out of the light on the ceiling and dropping onto your bed and you realize you have entered the 7th circle of hell.