Another semester come and gone

Finally done with another semester, well, almost just need to write a paper for my research project. It is amazing how some days I feel such a sense of accomplishment and others I feel like the road ahead is never ending. I am excited about some things ahead of me in my studies but I am also looking forward to graduating and getting out into the workforce again. Right now, I am just looking forward to having the next couple of weeks off although it probably will go by quick with the holidays and preparing for next semester.

Struggles

I had one of my moments yesterday when I wondered what I was doing. I was sitting in the computer lab with a bunch of kids cramming for my final that started in a few minutes when a discussion started among the kids as to what year they graduated. It struck me that I was a decade older than some of them, it was rather depressing. Seems I have never been able to get things quite right, when I was growing up I was so anxious to be older that I skipped a lot of being a kid to act like an adult. Now that I am an adult I am trying to go back and do the things I should have done when I was younger. Trouble is, it was always easier to fit in with people older than me than younger than me which makes the gap appear that much larger. I have come too far to stop now but I have to admit sometimes I think about it, I had a good job with a good company where I was moving up quickly but that wasn't enough for me, sigh. Sometimes I wonder how I will be able to handle it when Baileigh comes to me for advice when I have made so many bad decisions in my life, I suppose the only thing I can do is try to use my experience to try to help her avoid making the same mistakes I did. I just hope that one day I can be someone who is worth looking up to for her rather than just an example of what not to do.

Updates

As usual the new semester at school is keeping me very busy, I am taking Organic Chemistry, Genetics, and a couple of labs which put me at school every day during the week. Jeremy and I decided this winter that Baileigh was ready to start snowboarding and so we invested in getting us all outfitted for that and headed up to Monarch. I was afraid Baileigh was going to be scared but that fear turned out to be completely unfounded, the girl had no fear at all! We have been up twice now and she is getting really good. The other skiers and snowboarders are really great with her, they cheer for her and tell her what a great job she is doing, it has been really fun. Dad and Jasmine went with us the last time and Jasmine tried snowboarding the first time, she did a great job as well though she says she wants to try skiing next time. Dad watched Baileigh for Jeremy and I so that we could go do a run on our own, I am suspicious that Jeremy took out a life insurance policy on me as he decided to take me down a black diamond that I had no business on with this being my fifth or sixth time ever snowboarding! Worse yet, this run happened to be right under one of the lifts making my embarrassing attempt at this run very public, people on the lift were actually heckling me yelling things like, you can do it! At one point I actually got buried above my knees in powder and couldn't move, pure entertainment for the hecklers. Eventually I managed to dig myself out and in trying to recover some of my pride actually did a decent job of getting the rest of the way down the run, I assure you it was not skill that allowed me to do a decent job but pure stubbornness and a desire to regain some dignity that was larger than my fear. We all enjoyed the rest of our day and made it home in one piece and we are hoping to get out again the weekend after next. Besides the snowboarding Baileigh has been taking swim lessons twice a week and doing martial arts once a week. She is doing well with both and even took third place in a martial arts tournament last weekend. The swimming still needs some work as she struggles with having enough confidence in herself but I am hoping that comes around soon. She is currently deciding whether she wants to do soccer in the spring or go back to doing ballet. I will try to post some more photos and videos soon.