Struggles

I had one of my moments yesterday when I wondered what I was doing. I was sitting in the computer lab with a bunch of kids cramming for my final that started in a few minutes when a discussion started among the kids as to what year they graduated. It struck me that I was a decade older than some of them, it was rather depressing. Seems I have never been able to get things quite right, when I was growing up I was so anxious to be older that I skipped a lot of being a kid to act like an adult. Now that I am an adult I am trying to go back and do the things I should have done when I was younger. Trouble is, it was always easier to fit in with people older than me than younger than me which makes the gap appear that much larger. I have come too far to stop now but I have to admit sometimes I think about it, I had a good job with a good company where I was moving up quickly but that wasn't enough for me, sigh. Sometimes I wonder how I will be able to handle it when Baileigh comes to me for advice when I have made so many bad decisions in my life, I suppose the only thing I can do is try to use my experience to try to help her avoid making the same mistakes I did. I just hope that one day I can be someone who is worth looking up to for her rather than just an example of what not to do.